Stealth Genealogy

Does your family avoid talking about your shared
family history with you?

Do you dream of mining relatives' memories on family history during the holidays, but everyone runs and hides when they see you approaching with pen, paper and forms in hand?










Then it is time to employ some stealth genealogy tactics!

Your relatives may not even realize what you are doing,
if you use "stealth" genealogy tactics!

Here are ten steps to get you going that are especially useful at the holidays...

 Screensaver of family photos on my computer. 
Because of my file naming format,  people are 
displayed in alphabetical order. Hi Darrell!!

1. Put out the old family albums or use a digital display of family photos. I use the folder of family photos as the screen saver on my computer. Several holidays, I have caught my brothers staring at my computer screen only to find that they were really interested in the photos from the screen saver!



2. Talk about holiday traditions. Do you have favorite holiday traditions? Where did they come from? Relate the tradition to ancestors from that area.

3. Talk about food traditions - "Remember how Mom loved the oyster stuffing and we all hated it? Did you know that oyster stuffing is a British tradition? Can you guess how many of our ancestors were British?"

4. Display old holiday cards - "See that card with the bird on it? Uncle John sent that home when he was in the Army in Germany. Yah, it was after he had been wounded in Korea and was visited in the Tokyo hospital by two Generals' wives." 

While it is tattered now, this card is
 still the treasured symbol of the
love that a younger brother
had for his big sister.

Three weeks after arriving in Korea, Pvt. John Mason was
hit by mine shrapnel, some of which he carried with him
the rest of his life.

This woodcut print accompanied the obituary of Joseph Heighton and
was published in an unnamed newspaper.

5. Keep it simple. Don't talk about the process of doing family research. Talk about the results. "Yah, the Heightons were abolitionists and the siblings formed a singing group that would perform at Anti-slavery meetings. Son Joseph Heighton barely escaped being tarred and feathered and had to move away for several years." This can lead to other ancestors' activities during the Civil War.

6. Bring an old family recipe. Mom made wonderful divinity fudge. That could elicit memories of other cooking traditions.

7. When someone starts talking, don't interrupt with questions. Let them fill the silence with more stories. Nod often.

8. Try to record the memories being shared. Most smart phones can do video and audio recordings. REMEMBER - it is illegal to record anyone without their permission. (Hopefully, your family isn't as camera shy as mine!)

This arcade photo of my aunt & uncle
with their spouses could trigger
memories of other family members'
real time behind bars!

9. Everyone loves a scandal! And all families have their share.





10. Use these ticklers to bring up family members memories of the same story. Maybe they remember parts of the story you don't have.

And as always, have fun telling the stories!