It's All Relative

It’s All Relative Adventures Up and Down the World Family Tree by A.J. Jacobs, author of The Year of Living Biblically. I had not read any of Jacobs’ other books, but this promised to be a lighthearted look at genealogy and it did not disappoint. Jacobs is NOT a genealogist and doesn’t pretend to be. What he is is an author who becomes obsessed about a particular idea and then he writes about it. He became obsessed with the idea that we are ALL basically cousins after discovering the web site geni.com and its goal of hosting a World Family Tree that will prove that we are all related on some level. (A global version of 7 degrees of Kevin Bacon.)

Author, A.J. Jacobs.
Photo courtesy of Wikimedia. 

Jacobs hope is that by proving that we are all related, that the individuals of the world will treat each other better. A noble if somewhat optimistic hope. (It presumes that we all treat our families nicely.) Toward that recognition, he wanted to host the world’s biggest family reunion in New York. He gets sponsors and co-hosts and enlists celebrities to participate, hoping to surpass the current Guinness World Record holders, the Lilly family of West Virginia. (I wonder if they are related to my Lilly’s??)

Each chapter counts down the progress towards the reunion, The Global Family Reunion. While the book is lighthearted and very entertaining, you don’t want to read it as any kind of genealogy how-to. It isn’t that, although the 15 page Appendix does cover the basic how-to’s. But amidst all the chuckles and smiles, Jacobs included some profound and thought provoking insights. Here are the ones that struck me:

1. Being a genealogist is “a bit like a creepy voyeur.” (p.27) I have been accused of this on more than one occasion by my relatives.
2. While Bruce Feiler’s book The Secrets of Happy Families extols the benefits of children knowing their family history, the MOST beneficial stories are the ones that show that the family has had hard times, but made it through because they “stuck together as a family” (p. 50)
3. Neil deGrasse Tyson, astrophysicist and host of Cosmos had to say this about about tracing one’s ancestors: "My philosophy of root-finding may be unorthodox. I just don’t care. And that’s not a passive, but active absence of caring. In the tree of life, any two people in the world share a common ancestor -- depending only on how far back you look. So the line we draw to establish family and heritage is entirely arbitrary. When I wonder what I am capable of achieving, I don’t look to family lineage, I look to all human beings. That’s the genetic relationship that matters to me. The genius of Isaac Newton, the courage of Gandhi and MLK, the bravery of Joan of Arc, the athletic feats of Michael Jordan, the oratorical skills of Sir Winston Churchill, the compassion of Mother Teresa. I look to the entire human race for inspiration for what I can be - because I am human. Couldn’t care less if I were a descendant of kings or paupers, saints or sinners, the valorous or cowardly. My life is what I make of it." (p. 163)  I get this. We make decisions for ourselves that profoundly affect our lives. But I also believe that patterns and traits do get passed down from our families. And knowing what these are or were, helps us to better prepare ourselves for challenges Or as Oprah said, knowing what her slave ancestors endured made her better able to take on obstacles in her own life. 
4.  And on the next page, Jacobs talks that while he sees Tyson’s point of view that we should view all of humanity’s achievements as inspirational, because after all we are all related, he goes on to say that he is “drawn to my own specific line of ancestors” believing that this is a common trait. And “It’s motivated me to research history that I otherwise might have ignored. It’s allowed me to feel more connected to the rest of the world.” (p. 164)
5. Native American idea of 7 generations. Chief of the Onondaga Nation, Oren Lyons explains this concept: “We are looking ahead… to make sure … every decision we make relates to the welfare and well-being of the seventh generation to come…” (pp. .165-166)
6. Talking about the genealogy TV shows and in answer to the shows critics about the unrealistic expectations viewers get from the shows, Jacobs says “They spark interest in our geeky pastime. They inspire people to trace their own pasts. That’s my hope for my paradoxical quest as well… That the celebrity angle will hook my distant cousins on family history, but that they’ll soon realize their non-famous ancestors are just as fascinating.” (p. 222)
7. On feminism and the unequal interest in female ancestors, Judy Russell (aka The Legal Genealogist) is quoted as saying, “If the Dutch had won North America instead of the British, women would be a lot better off. The seventeenth century Dutch were far more liberal than the English, The Dutch allowed women to own land, open businesses --- everything except vote. There were actually two kinds of marriage, one where they retained their rights and on where they forfeited them” And Jacobs continues, “(By they way, the phrase “going Dutch” is not related to Dutch marital feminism, though it should be.” (p. 232)
8. “Family Heuristic” - the idea that evolution has trained humans to treat family members better in order to preserve the common DNA. Jacobs believes that if you think everyone is your cousin, you should want to treat them ALL better. Perhaps this is the secret to the survival of the human race. (p.236)

I highly recommend this title to fans of Jacobs' other books, genealogists who can laugh at themselves, and anyone who wants a laugh. Pick up the book to find out about the Global Family Reunion.